Trafalgar Sunrise by Danielle Lim

Author:Danielle Lim
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Marshall Cavendish International

Later, I go by to Alice’s bed to spend a little time with her. She is in a B1 class room with three other patients. Much better now, she smiles when she sees me. The pain is much more bearable, and Karen will be visiting later after work, as schools have reopened.

The one-visitor rule is a necessary precaution; thankfully Karen is still able to be with Alice. For a moment I wonder what it would mean if the rule is tightened further, for many of our patients, like Alice, are on the final stretches of their journey, when the companionship of loved ones is the sole source of comfort.

Alice must also have been wondering about Wan Mei, and I wish I had something better to tell her.

“We should be hearing from Wan Mei soon,” I say. “Maybe she’s been away and has not received my letter.”

She presses her lips together, sighs and nods. “Maybe. Or maybe she doesn’t want to come. Maybe too sudden for her. Maybe I should have just left it as it was.”

“Don’t say that. I would have done the same if I were you.” She smiles. It never fails to amaze me how our cancer patients continue to smile in the midst of their illness.

The lyrics of the song come back to me: Who does not dream, when they are young?

“Remember our cottage, Alice?”

“Of course. Our cooking was not bad, eh? No more boiled vegetables and fried fish every day. Your fried eggplant, those were good, Grace!”

“Really? Meng and the kids never really liked it.”

“Nah! What do they know? They haven’t had to eat boiled vegetables and fried fish every day,” she says with a wave of her hand.

“Did we ever talk about what our dreams were?” I ask, because I have been trying to recall ever since I heard the song earlier, but all I remember is us wanting to lead a normal life.

She thinks for a while.

“We did,” she says, reaching into her memories. “I think our dreams were quite the same.”

Now she looks at me, and I say, “To lead a normal life?”

She nods, slowly. “Yes. I remember. That’s all we wanted. A normal life, with a normal family and a normal job.”

“We’re lucky, I suppose, aren’t we? Our dream came true,” I say.

“Yah, we’re lucky,” she says, looking away. “Henry could have been lucky too. Could have been cured, like us. My own dream, my desperation, clinging to the idea of a normal romance, ended up destroying itself. Destroying him.”

I am not sure what to say. Perhaps I had not expected that the guilt from such a long time ago would resurface.

“Alice …”

“It’s okay, Grace. You don’t have to say anything. It’s the truth. Like it or not, we all leave a trail of damage where we have walked, don’t we? No matter how hard we try, our best efforts are always imperfect. Nothing you and I say will ever change that.”

For a brief moment our eyes meet, and I know that she is right, and that I do not have to say anything.

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